Thursday, October 29, 2009

Three things

  1. Lying in bed, believing that all of the forces of evil have conspired against your happiness in a mean spirited effort to suck the very life force from the very marrow of your already barely breathing social just a little extreme. It may be true, but come on, lighten up a little, okay?
  2. From my Facebook status: Tonight, at the dinner table, during a break in the conversation, my 2 year old son abruptly announced, "I'M PREGNANT!". I just want to say for the record: Josiah does NOT have a bun in the oven.*
  3. I am so tired of the healthcare debate. Here is my healthcare bill: let's start with a little self control. Turn off the TV, get some exercise outside, stop eating like crap, and lets see what that does to our healthcare crisis. I may be a simpleton, but I can't be more ridiculous than most of the talking heads in Washington.

*Mrs. Underdog is pregnant and on bedrest. There has been a lot of pregnancy talk around our house lately......

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Moments of Illumination

As a father, I live for the moments of illumination in my kids. This cartoon is a good illustration:

Monday, October 19, 2009

These were interesting

These did not orginate with me, but they seemed like a good way to start the week:

Nothing stinks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on facebook people that I do know, but i deliberately choose not to be friends with?

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

While watching the Olympics, I found myself cheering equally for China and the US. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

I wonder if cops ever get ticked off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey -but I'd bet a million dollars everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time.


Sunday, October 18, 2009

It starts early...

Three things

This is the "on the mend" edition of Three things:
  1. On Monday of this last week, Mrs. Underdog got put on bedrest after only a few weeks of pregnancy, we had six kids in some stage of the plague, and the downstairs bathroom was flooded with two inches of water. It was kind of a difficult way to start the week. Thus, the limited posting.
  2. I really miss our church. Not in the "wonder-what-the-new-flannelgraph" way, but in the "I-didn't-get-to-see-people-I-love" way and the "better-is-one-day-in-God's house" way. We have missed a couple of weeks due to the plague and it is a real drag. Sundays have become my favorite day.
  3. I think that we would all have to admit that the world would be a more interesting place if dinosaurs were still around. Not only would we be a little more cautious just walking around, but we would have a lot more diverse choices for burgers. Stegasaurus burgers.....Tyrannasaurus burgers....Pteradactyl burgers. Makes me hungry, I have to tell you.....

Animal Cruelty

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Don't Be Fooled

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Worst joke in the world

I haven't had time to post anything recently, but here is something awful for your edification:

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise'.

The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot. Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband. He hasn't, so she asks him to look in the pot. He reaches for it and again the lid rises, and he sees two little eyes looking around before it slams down.

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over, explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?' The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise.'

(You're going to love this. You're going to hate yourself for loving this!)

'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter, 'I bring you Peeking Duck'.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Three things

Three things that I admire in my wife, Mrs. Underdog:
  1. Love. Her love for me has matured over the years. I am a difficult person to love. I have weaknesses aplenty. Yet she has loved me faithfully despite those deficits. Sometimes her love has come through calling out those weaknesses as sin and gently encouraging change. Sometimes she has waited patiently for the Lord to have His way in sanctifying me.
  2. Humility. She is pursuing humility as a mom. I see her on a daily basis seeking wisdom from the Lord and older women about how to lead her flock. She desires good for her children, that they would follow Jesus and love Him.
  3. Passion. She cares deeply about certain things - - - children, food, health, Christmas, etc. Her passion for these things drives her to act and imagine and pursue excellence. And her drive is something I want to emulate. I thank God that someone in our marriage gets things done.

Maybe there is nothing sweeter on this earth than the exquisite knowledge that we are loved far better than we deserve.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


"There was no badness in Jesus. None." --- John Piper, in a podcast.

Think about that for a moment.

Just for you.

You know who you are. You are having a really bad day. You don't quite understand why things are going the way that they are. This whole thing does not align with your plans. And that stinks. But I want you to know, that even as you are reading this, that one thing will always be true:

God loves you with a love that you cannot imagine.

He created you with a specific purpose and has you where you are to achieve that purpose. He will use even this circumstance to mold you and sanctify you. And He is for you. Since the moment He adopted you, He has been on your side, shielding and protecting and providing and watching you. He is doing ten thousands thing outside of your awareness to draw you to Himself.

You are not alone.

Relish the thought that one day, ten thousand years from now, you will be with your Father in the place that Jesus has gone to prepare for you. And no eye has seen and no ear has heard what awaits you in that place.

These are just momentary struggles and He will be your strength.

Hang in there.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Things I have learned as a parent...

  1. Children are a blessing from the Lord, except for the hour before dinner and the last two hours of the return trip home from vacation.

  2. Children do not recognize the rights of anyone else outside of themselves.

  3. For toddlers, items that have the words "flourescent" and "permanent" in their description have the gravitational pull equal to a black hole.

  4. Never leave your laptop open to a toddler with his plastic play tools.

  5. It is amazing the amount of damage that a child can do with a set of fine quality plastic play tools.

  6. A child's faith has not been diminished by experience. Neither has it been emboldened by experience.

  7. To a child with a favorite NFL team, every game of the season is the Super Bowl.

  8. Children respond with tremedous grace to a humble parent.

  9. A child's hissy fit is simply the outward manifestation of something I do in my heart all of the time.

  10. It is important to remember that it is hard being a parent and it is hard being a child, just in different ways.

Saturday, October 3, 2009


From John Stott in the Cross of Christ:

The kind of God that appeals to most people today would be easy-going in his tolerance of our offenses. He would be gentle, kind, accommodating. He would have no violent reactions. Unhappily, even in the church we seemed to have lost the vision of the majesty of God. There is much shallowness and levity among us. Prophets and psalmists would probably say of us, "There is no fear of God before their eyes." In public worship our habit is to slouch or squat; we do not kneel nowadays, let alone prostrate ourselves in humility before God. It is more characteristic of us to clap our hands with joy than to blush with shame or tears. We saunter up to God to claim his patronage and friendship; it does not occur to us that he might send us away. We need to hear again the Apostle Peter's sobering words, "Since you call on a father who judges each man's work impartially, live your lives. . in reverent fear." (I Peter 1:17) In other words, if we dare to call our judge our Father, we must beware of presuming on him. It must even be said that our evangelical emphasis on the atonement is dangerous if we come to it too quickly. We learn to appreciate the access to God which Christ has won only after we have first cried, "Woe is me for I am lost." In Dale's words, "It is partly because sin does not provoke our own wrath that we do not believe that sin provokes the wrath of God.