Thursday, May 28, 2009

I invented a word

hu⋅min⋅nil⋅i⋅ty [hyoo-min-nil-i-tee] –noun: 1. a condition in which people think a person is being humble when in reality they simply cannot remember something 2. a combination of perceived humilty and senility.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Defining parenthood

The dictionary definition:

par⋅ent⋅hood [pair-uhnt-hood, par-] –noun: 1. the state, position, or relation of a parent; 2. the role of one who begets, gives birth to, or nurtures and raises a child; a father or mother.

The more realistic definition:

par⋅ent⋅hood [pair-uhnt-hood, par-] –noun: 1. a harrowing season of life in which a married human male and female are constantly challenged by immature, small people that eat everything and create messes; 2. a cause for great fear; 3. a cause for great hope; 4. the primary driver for the invention of Advil; 5. a role for which no book can fully prepare you; 6. the primary driver behind the invention of industrial strength spot remover; 7. the most humbling thing on earth.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Underdog.

Mrs. Underdog, I am sorry that I inadvertently called you "Sweety Pie" yesterday. But you have to admit, it could have been much worse:

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Additional things

Two postings in one day. I am out of control.

3a. I was reading with the kids tonight a summary of the account of Job. At the end of Job, God appears and asks Job a series of questions that he cannot answer. As I was reading it this evening it struck me that the tone of voice with which we read that passage is vital. Let's take this sample for instance:

Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding. Who determined its measurements—surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? On what were its bases sunk, or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together and all the sons of God shouted for joy?

Now I have always read a bit of anger into those sentences. And perhaps that is right. But what if God spoke them with love? What if He laughed as He spoke those lines? Maybe pity in His voice. Something to think about....

3b. In that passage above, God made the stars sing. I bet most stars are a soft tenor. Except for the Red Dwarfs, which are obviously arrogant sopranos.

3c. My children's bladders are a finely coordinated group. They all are at optimum fullness just as I turn the engine in the family car to go somewhere. Just like Old Faithfuls.

3d. By God's grace, the older I get the better I am able to discern what is trivial and what is not. And, as it turns out, more is trivial than not.

Three things

  1. As I read through the book of Matthew, I am consistently amazed at the number of miracles where Jesus simply makes something from nothing. Sometimes it is nerve endings that He creates. Sometimes He creates bread. I imagine this is one of the things that frustrated His opponents the most: His claim to be God was supported by creation events that could not happen with anyone else.
  2. Our country really lost something when divorce lost its stigma. Sixty years ago, getting a divorce was difficult and was viewed with certain distain by society at large. Now divorce has become a drive-thru industry and so few people fight for their marriages. And there are people that view public divorces as if it is some sort of sporting event and they take sides and root for their team. Instead of rooting for reconcliation.
  3. I was a little disappointed that I was not nominated for the Supreme Court. I am not sure that I am qualified. But I am not sure they are either.....

Thursday, May 21, 2009


I would like to dedicate this post to Mrs. Underdog and her committment to the Laundry game....

What the dog does when we're not home...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Except for football games, of course

Painful, but true

This was a post on Justin Taylor's blog a couple of days ago. I think that it is really important that we never lose the crucified Christ as the center of our faith. It is a bloody cross and not improved morality that we must represent.

A transcribed excerpt below from Russell Moore's excellent talk, "The Devil Votes Christian Values: Why We’re Tempted to be Glorified Satanists Rather than Crucified Followers." Dr. Moore shows that in Satan's third temptation of Christ he is willing to broker a deal with the Son of God: Satan will give up his authority over the external rule of the nations in exchange for keeping the power of accusation.

Satan ultimately has a power that is not found most importantly in moral decay or in cultural chaos. His power is in the authority to accuse. The power of accusation. The power of holding humanity captive through the fear of death and the certainty of judgment. Satan is not fearful of external conformity to rule. Not even to the external conformity of the rule of Christ--provided there is no cross.

Satan does not mind family values--as long as what you ultimately value is the family. Satan does not mind social justice--as long as you see justice as most importantly social.

Satan does not tremble at a Christian worldview. He will let you have a Christian worldview as long as your ultimate goal is viewing the world. Jesus will receive the kingdoms of the world, this crafty serpent thinks, then he can hand them to him apart from the shedding of blood at the cross.

Apart from the overthrow of the demonic powers through the empty tomb.

Apart from a reconciliation between a holy God and a renegade humanity.

If he can just bypass the cross--and get to the kingdom apart from the cross--then he will have everything that he wants.

Pastor: Satan doesn't mind if you preach on the decrees of God with fervor and passion every single week--provided that you do not ever preach the gospel of the cross.

Homeschooling Mom: Satan does not mind if you teach your children all the books of the Bible and all the Ten Commandments and all of the catechism--provided you do not teach them the gospel of a bloody cross.. . .

He will let you get what it is that you want, no matter what it is--sanctity of marriage, environmental protection, orphan care, all of these good and wonderful things--he will allow you to gain those things provided you do not preach and proclaim and live through the power of a cross that cancels his power of condemnation.

He so fears the gospel of a Christ crucified and raised from the dead that he is willing to surrender his entire empire just to appease the threat of it.

This is a rich and very important message, which I commend to you.

I think that all too often, we substitute goodness for holiness. There is nothing wrong with many of the things that Christians deem important, but they are evil if they compete for supremacy with Christ.

Christ alone is to be our treasure.

Our God is a jealous God.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Super cool

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Blog post

What if you had the opportunity to meet someone that.... the greatest inventor of all time?

...had been closely involved in countless natural disasters?

...saved one of His friends from hungry lions?

...created coffee?

...had three friends thrown into a fire pit and then rescued them?

...asked one close friend to kill his son with a knife?

...wrote poetry, parables, and songs that are all time best sellers?

...killed His son because they both agreed it was best?

...often called the people He loved whores and adulterers? building a really unique place for a chosen few people? invisible?

That would be an amazing meeting.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Everyone's a comedian.....

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1...

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going?I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help.Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K.,I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides,eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. "
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore.We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend of yours.So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please.....................AND THE WINNER IS ...

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

This should keep some of you busy for hours....

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Yearning for cereal

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that I was longing for forbidden cold cereal. It is forbidden because we have a few members of our household that have allergies that keep cereal at bay. I now know that soon there will be restaurants that specialize in cereal here in Dallas. When I was in Chicago on business they had a cereal restaurant called Cereality. It was close to my hotel, but I just couldn't fit it into my schedule that trip. A good cereal space might challenge my allegiance to Starbucks.

Didn't make it to church this morning due to a blistering migraine. I missed it. But I didn't feel like it would be appropriate to ask them to lower the lights and turn down the music and speak softly during the church service. And if people saw me laying on my back mumbling incoherantly about the pounding in my skull, it might frighten away visitors. Stupid migraines. Just another proof that I lack sovereignty over my own circumstances.

Bring on Monday. I am ready.

(I think.)

Friday, May 8, 2009

Insights into stuff and Genesis 3

A couple of random thoughts on spiritual things:

- In the apologetics course that our church is offering to the public, we looked at Genesis 3. This is the chapter were Adam and Eve choose fruit over God. I know that the core of their disobedience was a heart that wondered if there was something better, but has there ever been a worse trade. I will trade perfect joy for a bite of a pear. Huh. Not equal value, really.

-When they made the choice to rebel against God, 100% of the human population on the planet at that moment fell. There was not a sinless person left.

-I am still puzzled by the origin of evil in the first place. What was the origin of that first rebellious inkling in the mind of Satan?

-Leave apples alone. It wasn't an apple. Probably a tomato. Tomatoes are fruit, you know.

-Will heaven be better than Eden was? I think so.

-I wonder if later in their lives, Adam and Eve could remember the details of the Fall. We tend to forget things as we grow older. I have to think that as their minds aged that the wonder of an unfallen world became harder and harder to recall. Dulled by sin and pain, I bet they began to view death as a gift, a relief from crushing regret.

-Just a speculation, but I bet that Eve was unusually viscious with any snakes she encountered.

-The first Adam blew it. The second Adam, though thoroughly tempted, did not.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Generic post

Three things:

1. We have had some pretty severe diet changes in an attempt to fight some allergies in the Pups. You know what I miss more than an other food? Cold cereal. Not even the sweet kind, really. Maybe just some Wheaties.

2. Every time I post something on this blog, the Comment Moderation button stares at me with an irascable, mocking glare. It knows that I have no comments to moder. But if you are reading this, just know that if you comment, I will moder your words with velvet gloves.

2b. I have known some blogs where they just peck comments to death. Like a gang of chickens on a paralyzed ladybug. It's really ugly.

3. I held an iPhone in my hands today. I lusted, I'm afraid. As I grow older, I am coming to understand that stuff like iPhones will never live up to the anticipation of having one. Because toddlers will drop them on to concrete shortly after you get one.

Art that makes me happy

Now and then, I am emotionally moved by someone's art. It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I want to share it. So, if you want to be impressed, you should check out this website: Enjoy the bull video and then click on "WORK".
One of the artist's at Portland Studios, just finished some work based on Grimm's fairy tales. I thought these two pieces by Cary Godbey were particularly good:

Saturday, May 2, 2009