I have been reading stuff that is smarter than I am. I struggle and I wrestle with the language and my little brain sweats and strains to understand. But the effort is made worthy in moments when God rewards the work with insight into His ways. The work and the revelation are both gifts.
I was reading this last week as someone wrote about the purpose of the Christian life. What is it that God wants us to do? It was a swift kick in the head when the author proposed that the Christian life is more about affections than it is about decisions. I have been chewing on this for a few days and I think that I believe it to be true.
Think about the commands that Jesus said were most important. Jesus commanded an emotion, an affection. Jesus said that the Law and Prophets were summed up in loving God and loving our neighbors. He did not choose one of the Ten Commandments or some ceremonial sacrifice, he commanded love. I think that Jesus' command pushes any self righteousness to the side and makes us depend upon God to help us love when love is not natural.
I think that our decisions will be based on what we love most. I find that most of the time, I love me more than anything else. So I make decisions that are purely motivated by what is best for me. If my affections were for my God and my neighbor, my decisions and actions would reflect that concern.